AMA: “What is ‘Inappropriate Affect?'”
Have you ever been speaking with someone and they are saying one thing, but their nonverbals are saying another? ‘Yes – super excited about that…’ May be the words that come out of their mouths, but their body language and vocal tone is suggesting a complete lack of interest… Body posture is stooped, eye gaze is averted, facial expressions are not reacting or varying based on information exchanged (‘dead pan). We have likely all observed this as a listener…and perhaps have been called out on it ourselves. So..what is inappropriate affect exactly? When our nonverbals don’t align with our words or our intention, we call this ‘incongruence’. It can also be referred to as ‘inappropriate affect’. In essence, when what one person expects to see expressed and what actually gets expressed, don’t align. Inappropriate affect can lead to serious communication misfires. https://youtu.be/t2GZ_szRAbc The good news, is that you can often get out ahead of this through the development of self-awareness. In a tactful way, you can share with your audience that for ‘x’ reason, (perhaps it’s a surgery or medication, perhaps you’ve had a really tough day or are getting over feeling ill etc.) you may seem to come across one way, even though you really feel another way about the topic at hand. Being able to articulately claim inappropriate affect takes a lot of awareness. In fact, oftentimes you may even think that it’s just not that obvious….but over video in particular – you are on full display, and any disconnect between your video presence and what your audience expects to see, can really throw a wrench into the goal of communication and connection. Tools like the Virtual Sapiens Assessment or in-call Sidekick can help with the development of deeper self-awareness when it comes to your nonverbals. In using tools like these, you can quickly get a gut check to ensure that what you intend to communicate, is in fact what others perceive. Start your journey towards communication effectiveness today with a free trial!
Cultural Nuance in Nonverbal Communication
One of the most common questions we get from our community, and from customers, is around cultural nuance in nonverbal communication. How do you account for cultural nuances when you are presenting to a global audience? We put this question to Dr. Marono for her thoughts. While universal cues are a safe baseline, it is always a wise decision to do some advance research into cultural norms, customs and standards when presenting in front of a culture that is different from your own. Check out the video below for more cultural context When it comes to our technology, there is a strong reason behind keeping our insights aligned with universal cues, and not getting too prescriptive when it comes to things like hand gestures or facial expressions. Try out our tools for yourself starting with our free Virtual Presence Assessment.
Nonverbal Communication Doesn’t Happen in a Vacuum
“What role does context play in nonverbal communication?” There are seven universal emotions humans, on average, identify through specific expressions: 😀 Happiness😱 Fear😞 Sad🤢 Disgust😲 Surprise😒 Contempt According to anthropology and neuroscience, the main reason we universally recognize these emotions is because of our evolved need to decipher between friend/foe and safety/danger by picking up on certain cues quickly. Now, while it may seem simple to detect someone is happy with a smile, things get considerably more complex when we get into emotions like confidence, comfort, discomfort, trustworthiness etc. These emotions can be expressed in a variety of different ways, depending on the person, their baseline, and the context. https://youtu.be/R7SVTpD9p1s A great example is with arm crossing. We are often quick to judge someone who crosses their arms as being ‘closed off/disinterested’. Without taking the context into consideration, we may not realize that this individual tends to cross their arms as a soothing posture when thinking (they also happen to be nodding their head). Or perhaps, that the AC is on and the individual is cold. This is a small, but powerful example. Think of how many times you may cross your arms not because you are closed off, but because you felt slightly awkward having your arms dangle by your sides? In the world of nonverbal communication, we must take many things into account when we are observing someone’s behaviors. It’s rarely about just one cue. Oftentimes, it’s a cluster of behaviors, within an understood context that will guide us to the most accurate observations. Not to judge someone, but to better understand how we can communicate with them. On the flip side, knowing that those around us may be quick to judge us based on a simple gesture, means we can more intentionally choose how we show up. For example, catching ourselves the next time we have crossed our arms – challenging ourselves to not look away from our computer screens repeatedly… What are some of the ways you might consider context over video specifically?
How To Make Active Listening Second Nature
“How do you juggle active listening and staying on top of your audience’s nonverbals on video?” It often feels like there is way too much going on on video. Even if we know active listening is a powerful tool to leverage when building rapport on video, it is a tricky new skill to consider in addition to the many other things we are doing at the same time. (Like switching screens, sharing screens, monitoring the chat etc.) This is why it is critical to develop new muscles around active listening – so that it becomes second nature. This is true in many areas of life and is in fact how we grow and evolve as dynamic humans. Once we have developed muscle memory around new ways of showing up and communicating, we don’t have to spend the same amount of mental resources on them. After all…if we always had to spend the same amount of energy on new skills, we would never have room to get to the next level! https://youtu.be/RvN-OS6i4qw Give this discussion a listen for some tips and reasoning behind practicing active listening until it becomes a sticky new habit. Pro Tip: Your Sidekick can help you improve your active listening with gentle nudges during video calls. Try it out now for free – we promise it will make your 2023 much easier – we promise:)
Nonverbal Communication Goes Digital
Nonverbal communication, which refers to anything that sends a message that is not a spoken word, is a constantly evolving language. As we continue to streamline the way we communicate digitally, we start to realize we’ve actually been slowly developing a new language of nonverbals, all specific to video-based experiences. In reading through this article on BBC, a few things stood out to me. Most notably, a point I often make when speaking with clients: as video becomes more embedded within our professional experience, expectations will rise when it comes to the efforts we put into showing up and “sharing something of ourselves” in this digital forum. I would argue that while there was a level of necessary lenience during the pandemic, that will dissipate. And in some cases, it already has… Whether we are in person, or virtual, people make judgements based on what they perceive. A decision to have your video off, sends a strong nonverbal message. Having a sloppy background, poor lighting or being out of frame all send a message that you haven’t taken the time to consider the other person’s experience, or that you are unaware of, or don’t care about their perception of you. A particularly poignant quote: “Gestures such as turning the camera on can also be a question of politeness. “We wouldn’t sit in a board meeting with a bag over our heads,” says Ridell. “We have to learn new rules to avoid being rude.” The point about learning here is key. A lot about digital communication is pretty far from what we might consider ‘natural’. Looking into the lens instead of at the person you are talking to for instance, or having your head in the upper third of your frame, not in the middle, are counter-intuitive. These seemingly small details make a MASSIVE difference. People notice. People appreciate and in the end, people learn a bit more about who you are as a person, when you put intentional effort into the way you communicate nonverbally on video. We are helping in our specific ways with our tools at Virtual Sapiens. We believe that those who lean in now, put in effort and practice honing their new digital presence, will be at a competitive advantage by the time everyone else wakes up. Keep a sharp eye on yourself and others, I think you will be surprised at just how many messages are being shared nonverbally in our virtual world of work.
Guest Post on The Loom Transcript
Loom published a new mini-series authored by our CEO, Rachel Cossar, featuring nonverbal communication tips and tricks to get you set up for success on video. You can check out the series on the Loom Blog here. Since video is the only digital channel of communication that showcases body language, being well-versed in this area of behavioral science is a massive advantage! We invite you to check out some of the cues you can play around with on your next call, from designing your new virtual handshake to engaging effectively with your body language and your vocal cues, there is something in here for every professional looking to have an impact on video. And if you are eager to get some feedback, check out our suite of AI-enabled coaching options here.
Why Effective Nonverbal Communication is Critical for Founders to Master on Video
Since the start of the pandemic, what message would you share with startup founders concerning the importance of nonverbal communication when speaking to investors? This question, while directed towards startup founders, is relevant to anyone who has to show up and sell. This can be said for individuals during job interviews. It can be said for founders in front of investors. It can most certainly be said for anyone trying to sell in the classic sense as well. Our Takeaways: 😬 Many of us know that most instances of selling are short, pressured moments of impression formation and rapid relationship building. 😄 Many of us know to practice, practice, practice our content. 😕 Whether these pitches are happening on video, or in-person, the way we deliver our pitch, from the second we show up live, to the very end and sign off, is practiced much less. In a world that is so intensely competitive, it is crucial to own as much of your delivery as possible. Nonverbal communication and body language awareness is the first step in this equation. Intentionally pairing our nonverbals to what we say, is the next. Have a question for us? Email us at support@virtualsapiens-cbgycehwg9f5e4ac.centralus-01.azurewebsites.net
The Tell-Tale Signals You’ve Lost Your Audience on Video
There is a lot going on in video meetings. Particularly for multi-participants meetings, where people are presenting, taking polls and more, it can feel like you are juggling 10 balls at a time…and still have no idea of whether and when people are engaged with what you are sharing. Video conferencing technology tends to make it even more difficult to read the virtual room. While we are working on technology that will support meeting presenters and facilitators when it comes to understanding engagement virtually, it’s helpful to know what to look for ourselves. In this week’s AMA with Dr. Marono, we answered the question: What are the tell-tale nonverbal cues that can signal that your audience is disengaged/not listening? This is one of the golden powers of video. If you can tell when your audience is with you, and when they are not, you can greatly increase you impact as a virtual communicator. This is knowledge that can elevate professionals in today’s evolving world of work. Check out the video below to hear Dr. Marono and my thoughts on things you can look out for during your next video meeting: Virtual Sapiens is working on technology to fill this important and missing communication loop – and our current products are already helping you ensure you are sending the messages you intend to.
How to Achieve and Perceive Authenticity With Nonverbals
There’s a reason habit breaking and habit building are such tricky endeavors. Particularly in the world of communication, we often struggle between honing our communication skills, and feeling authentic. Speaking from my experience as a professional ballet dancer and athlete, I can share that building new habits and strengthening new muscles can often feel uncomfortable, difficult, unnatural. But that is what growth is all about. If we are not willing to put ourselves out of our comfort zones, to try out new models, new movements, new vocabulary, we will never have the benefits of discovering new ways to communicate with even more impact. As usual with communication, and nonverbal communication in particular, the questions we ask of ourselves, can often be reflected onto others. For instance, how can I ensure I am coming across with authenticity leads to the question: How can I tell if someone is communicating with authenticity? In this video, Dr. Marono and I take the time to discuss how you can explore new pathways of communication, while staying true to your authentic self. Understanding this question first, is key to then understanding how you can perceive authenticity, and inauthenticity, in others.
Face, torso and hands? Oh my!
A question many professionals are asking themselves in our world of video connection is: How do you combat the lack of “full body package” as you tend to only see a small portion of the body on video? In this short video, check out Dr. Marono’s perspective of the way we make up for any lost cues by placing additional emphasis on the face, the upper body postures (shoulders), arm and hand movements. https://youtu.be/9r75KxDDGMg As we think about the way we show up, we realize there is actually a lot to work with, and be aware of. Since video is the only digital means that allows us to leverage the nonverbals of our facial expressions, our arm and hand gestures and our posture, we should not take these cues lightly. Stay tuned for more short videos featuring Dr. Abbie Maroño, PhD and myself as we explain some of the trickier nonverbals, and how we can update our body language for video conversations. Have a question? We will be hosting these recorded, AMA once a quarter, please reply directly to this email and we will include it in our next recording session!